# I’ve Been a Relationship... ! [ rw-book-cover] (https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1873906781799510016/UXGbLAjH.jpg) URL: https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976442092986695 Author: @_Phoenixblvck on Twitter  ## AI-Generated Summary None ## Highlights > I’ve been a relationship counsellor for three years now, and here are 15 wholesome traits I’ve noticed amongst successful couples. It gets better as you slide. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976442092986695)) > 1. Resounding, frequent and genuine appreciation: > I’ve found this common in every successful relationship I’ve been privileged to witness, including mine. Successful couples are loud about how much they appreciate each other, express their gratitude frequently over the big and especially little things, and they always mean it when they say, “Thank you.” ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976443623895372)) > 2. Habitual Affectionate Gestures: > One thing you can be certain successful couples engage in a lot is physical affection. The recurrent forehead kisses, multiple daily hugs, handholding, cuddling, beard rubbing, hair fiddling… successful couples are always reassuring one another of their affections through wholesome, non-sexual physical contact. A lot of times, they don’t even realize they’re doing it! ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976445242876141)) > 3. Respect and Admiration for one another: > Successful couples often have a healthy dose of profound respect and admiration for each other. They see one another as people who are worthy of regard and honor and they act accordingly, only bringing praise and pride to their partners. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976446941573571)) > 4. Healthy Boundaries: > Successful couples never hesitate to set and communicate boundaries—both internal and external, and they often do well to honour these boundaries too. They understand that boundaries can be a tool for fostering relationship health, as they’re more about preserving one another’s individuality and nurturing safe spaces, than creating separation. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976448619323402)) > 5. Fighting Clean: > You’ll never catch successful couples fighting dirty. They neither air unclean laundry nor intentionally construct their words and actions to strike the other person where it would hurt the most. They’ve mastered the art of healthy conflict resolution and as such, every misunderstanding brings them closer together. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976450351542568)) > 6. Acknowledgement of Each Other’s Autonomy: > Successful couples are able to embrace the oneness of being in a relationship without necessarily seeing the other person as a property they own. They fully recognize and acknowledge their partners as full humans in their own rights and this reflects in the way they treat each other, and support one another’s endeavours. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976452230635689)) > 7. Effective Communication: > Successful couples talk to, and with each other—not at each other. More importantly, they listen actively. They continue to nurture open communication pathways, creating safe spaces to address both mundane and difficult matters with care and gentleness, rather than passive-aggressiveness, anger or just plain ol’ silent treatment. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976453950292054)) > 8. Genuine Friendship: > Successful couples genuinely like each other and continue to cultivate deeper friendship. They act silly, play games, tease and laugh together a lot. They don’t see anyone as the master or subordinate, simply as buddies. And if they weren’t in love, they’d most probably still be friends. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976455598682541)) > 9. Endless courtship: > Successful couples never stop dating. They continue to court and dazzle one another with planned events, surprise gifts, sweet words, thoughtful gestures, getaway trips, and date nights. The flame of romance is one that never goes out. It may dim from time to time, but they’ll always get it dazzling once more. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976457230262478)) > 10. Accountability and Consideration: > Successful couples are often accountable to each other. They don’t live their lives like they only answer to themselves. They take their partners into consideration, act in ways that’d only attract respect and love, and are very careful with each other’s feelings. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976458870128814)) > 11. Ever Improving Sex Life: > Successful couples do not just abandon their sex lives to tumble down the pit of no return. They’re often looking for ways to spice things up in the bedroom—and most especially, outside. They review occasionally and honestly, set dates, plan events around getting down, and constantly try to get better at pleasing one another. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976460531093915)) > 12. Balance Between Agreement and Healthy Compromise: > Contrary to popular belief, successful couples do not ALWAYS agree. However, they’re mostly of one mind when it comes to the things that truly matter, and when they aren’t able to meet on the same page, they try to reach a point of healthy compromise that’d mostly work for both parties. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976462196211973)) > 13. Proper Apologies: > Successful couples do not beat around the bush, struggle to apologize due to ego, or try to sweep things under the carpet. Instead, they follow the AVARCC apology framework, properly communicate their remorse, and when they promise to do better, they actually make efforts to. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976463794332011)) > 14. Earnest Forgiveness: > Successful couples do not go around holding on to grudges that eventually devolve to resentment. They air their grievances, are honest about their processing journey, and work to truly let go of the slight and move on. Successful couples forgive often and honestly, hardly bringing up an issue once it’s been entirely resolved. > Disclaimer: Things that warrant forgiveness in relationships are genuine mistakes, not unrepentant cheating and abuse. This is not a validation for anyone in these categories. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976465518215513)) > 15. Mutual Yielding: > Successful couples yield to each other. It’s not always one person having to compromise, or getting to have their way. It goes both ways. And this applies to efforts as well. Both parties are consistently doing what they can to carry their weight in the relationship, and, when necessary, the other’s as well. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976467141365840)) > If you’ve read up to this point, well done!!! > I guess the question you should be asking yourself now is, “Am I in a successful relationship?” —Especially if you and your partner are long term, because what determines the success of a relationship isn’t merely its longevity, but most importantly, its substance. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976468802244940)) > Hi, I’m Comfort Omovre, a certified counsellor who offers professional services ranging from couples counselling and premarital counselling to trauma recovery sessions, as well as clarity and healing sessions. ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881976892556976481)) > My calendar is now open for the year and you can get to book your sessions at last year’s prices before our fees go up in March, if you follow this link now: > I can’t wait to speak with you! https://t.co/u4fEvuzXxN ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1881977075609088336)) > Wow! Woke up to see that this blew up! > A lot of people have been asking about the AVARRC* Apology framework. It’s one I came up with to help my clients and audience apologize better. It stands for Acknowledgement, Validation, Accountability, Remorse, Restitution and Change! ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1882121471461654830)) > You can read it up on it here: > https://t.co/Ga71EORlYp ([View Tweet](https://twitter.com/_Phoenixblvck/status/1882121507054452813))