# Deep Dive: Breaking Down the 1:1  ## Metadata - Author: [[Kelly Vaughn]] - Full Title: Deep Dive: Breaking Down the 1:1 - Category: #articles - Document Tags: [[favorite]] - Summary: 1:1 meetings between managers and direct reports are crucial for building trust and effective collaboration. These meetings should focus on the direct report's needs, allowing them to guide the conversation while managers provide support and guidance. Regular check-ins help align on goals and ensure ongoing development, making performance reviews easier. - URL: https://modernleader.is/p/deep-dive-one-on-ones?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=you-re-on-the-list ## Highlights - I’ve noticed two major patterns when it comes to 1:1s: • 1:1s get canceled because one of the two attendees is “too busy” (or they don’t know what to talk about) • 1:1s turn into nothing more than project updates, something you can usually receive asynchronously ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4znqx31ec10nhckpg8kaqkd)) - What does this look like in practice? • From a managerial standpoint, this time is ideal to identify issues or blockers and clear the path for your direct reports. • From a mentorship and coaching standpoints, your dedicated 1:1 time is opportune for career mapping and goal planning. • From a strategic standpoint, your direct reports can use this time to share ideas for future work and roadmap items, including how they align with their previously identified personal career goals. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zntm6kmax0qhddhfyn77cf)) - In *[The Effective Manager](https://amzn.to/3WAQMvD?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=deep-dive-breaking-down-the-1-1)*, Mark Horstman recommends a highly structured format to your 1:1s - 10 minutes for your direct, 10 minutes for you, and (occasionally) 10 minutes to discuss the future. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zp5hf0wvhjcnw0t9dkn8nj)) - My favorite format is via a joint agenda. Share a document with each direct report. I’ve used Notion for this several times - you can also just use a Google doc or if you’re using a platform such as [Lattice](https://lattice.com?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=deep-dive-breaking-down-the-1-1), they often have a built-in agenda format you can use. This document will be continuously updated each time you meet for a 1:1. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zpchftkw6fjmptms8v4ah2)) - Your agenda should contain the following items: • A bulleted list of topics the direct would like to discuss • A bulleted list of topics the manager would like to discuss • A section for action items for either the manager or direct to take • A section for shared notes to jot down any ideas or thoughts shared during your 1:1 ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zpd22bvf67jp43s1yn9jyg)) - If your company requires formal annual performance reviews, you can make the process infinitely easier on yourself by checking in quarterly with each direct report to align on progress towards personal and career goals. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zq8t3dnjmh66dh3j5amfrk)) - for my quarterly check-ins and my current go-to format is as follows: • Create a shared document that contains two sections: one for your direct report to complete, and one for you to complete. Your ability to complete your part is contingent on your direct to complete theirs, so make it as easy as possible to complete. • Ask your direct report to think about what they want to be doing 1 year from now. Focus less on the job title or role and more on specific skills. Do they want to get more experience in product management? Work towards becoming an EM? Improve upon their React skills or learn a new technology? Provide this framing for your directs to complete, letting them know that they can take this in whichever direction they choose. Make sure they outline why they want to learn these things as well - instead of just having a list of skills, dig deeper into the overarching goals to learn these skills. • Once your direct has completed this section, you should then take the list of skills they listed they’d like to learn, *plus* think of skills you think they would benefit from, and pop them into a chart that can be tracked. The chart should contain the following columns: • Skill: What skill wants to be built or learned? • Assessment of current level: What gaps currently exist in this direct’s experience with this skill? • Suggestion of opportunities to build this skill: How can the direct build this skill? • Direct report comments: This is an empty space for your direct to respond - “this sounds good” or “I’d rather do X” or “I think the assessment is incorrect” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zq9ppz18jbsggfe2468mnd)) - If this team is completely brand new to you, get to know them first. Ask them how long they’ve been with the company, what they like and don’t like about their role, and briefly touch on some of their career goals. I don’t like going too deep here because again, this time is for the direct to lead. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zqz023401rrrmbg6b3kb1h)) - If you’re taking over an existing team and there has been some change in leadership, it’s important to address this early on. How are they dealing with the change? Do they have any concerns about the current state or future? You don’t need to have all of the answers here - write down their concerns and discuss with your manager if you need further guidance. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zqyr17c743bdk09net5qk4)) - Establish the ground rules for your 1:1s. I usually explain anything that you discuss with me during our 1:1s is going to be kept between us, and if there is anything that I *do* need to discuss externally (perhaps with my manager), I will ask for your permission to share. For everything else, anything you need to share with someone outside of your org can be generalized without being able to draw back to an individual. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr08ayh09pjchdkjfv5jnp)) - When it comes to feedback, every direct is going to have their personal preference. Some prefer just-in-time feedback while others need more time to prepare mentally to receive feedback. Some prefer written feedback, others prefer spoken feedback. Be sure to ask how they prefer to receive feedback - both positive and negative. (Some people hate to be put in the spotlight even for successes - be aware of this before sharing to a broader group!) ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr0y1fqw7z027y89tt9y51)) - If you’re taking over a new team, it’s a good time to begin discussing goals. The last time I took over a team, I asked two primary questions: (1) what were you initially hired to do (these are often specialized roles), and (2) what are you doing now. This often leads to deeper discussion (e.g. do you enjoy what you’re doing?) and you can dig into where they want to be 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year down the road. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr1hq651emrkj1xx9zyq0s)) - Lastly, I completely agree with Lara’s final question - how do you like to treat yourself? This is a fun way to get to know someone on a more personal level AND provides a little bit of insight into what they may enjoy if you wanted to congratulate or thank someone in a personal manner. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr1qdndw7ecmkb8mk9hsq6)) - **Do:** • Come prepared. “I guess we don’t have anything to talk about so we can cancel” is the worst reason to cancel. • Do your best to keep a regular schedule for each 1:1. Unless someone is on vacation or out of office, it’s best to not cancel your 1:1s; the best case scenario is to reschedule. • Have empathy. Understand that your direct reports may be going through more than what you’re aware of that can be impacting their work, and it’s their decision to share with you. • Follow up on any action items. If you want to build trust – especially early on in the manager-direct relationship – make sure you’re following through on asks. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr2bgzbyd64keqz14zbq2r)) - **Don’t:** • Cancel. Seriously. Please. • Give critical performance guidance. Unless explicitly asked (and established in an earlier 1:1 that this is where they prefer to receive feedback), save (especially critical) performance guidance for a dedicated time with enough heads-up to the direct report. Positive feedback, on the other hand, is encouraged! • Overly structure your time together. Your agenda acts as a guide – if you diverge from it, that’s completely fine. If you need more time, also fine. But don’t disrupt a good flow if it wasn’t initially on the agenda. • Lead the discussion. Gently nudge, but this is not your meeting; it’s your direct report’s meeting. They guide the discussion. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr2nv88vj7a2sagwd4k37n)) - some of the books I recommend that go deeper into performing effective 1:1s. • [The Coaching Habit](https://amzn.to/3WG2ogN?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=deep-dive-breaking-down-the-1-1) (this one REALLY focuses on 1:1s) • [Radical Candor](https://amzn.to/3UdvbI0?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=deep-dive-breaking-down-the-1-1) • [High Output Management](https://amzn.to/3hlHi7q?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=deep-dive-breaking-down-the-1-1) • [The Effective Manager](https://amzn.to/3Tk8Ozo?utm_source=modernleader.is&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=deep-dive-breaking-down-the-1-1) ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j4zr37002kd50kw3x6fg7065))